Learning to Lean

"Learning to lean, learning to lean;

I'm learning to lean on Jesus."

John Stallings

This hymn is the first thing that came to my mind as I was trying to figure out how to sum up the last several weeks. Aren't you glad that God changes your life circumstances about through joys or trials in order to teach you more about leaning hard on Him? What would your Christian life be like if nothing about your life circumstances ever changed? I know my Christian life wouldn't change much. To be honest with you, when my life is "smooth sailing" I get in a "rut" of taking all the treasures I have in Christ for granted.

What causes you to lean hard on Christ? I could list so many circumstances in my life that do, but I think right now the greatest "things" that do are these two cute little fellows...

(insert cute pic of Ethan and Hudson, but my internet connection won't let me right now...so just imagine :0)

I don't even know how to describe all the ways my children teach me to depend on my God...where do I begin? When baby number 2 came along, my organized world and home were thrown out of whack! I realized then that one child had been a piece of cake. When Ethan was a newborn, if he slept I slept. Now with Hudson thrown in the mix, I'm still trying to figure out when I'll get to sleep. (well at this point in his life, he is sleeping more at night, hence the reason I have a chance to blog again) The biggest struggle for me is everyday CONSISTENT godly living and responses. I have 2 kids watching me right now, one wanting to copy my every action and word right now. What accountability! Ethan can see if mommy has a wrong response to a bad situation. Ethan can see if I have a quick temper or am impatient. His attitude to unexpected or different situtations from the norm are a mirror of my initial response to the change in our life style. Wow!

I love to act. I have taken many acting classes in high school and college. I have learned how to be happy when sad and joyful when I'm really angry. Sometimes it is easy for me to put on an act for my family...to make my words sound good when on the inside I am fuming or to make my facial expressions look pleasant when I am really dissappointed. Acting in real life in front of my family is obviously superficial and will only last for so long until I get tired or am taken off guard. The only way to live as a CONSISTENT godly testimony to my family is by learning to lean on Jesus.

Everday I must remember that I am weak. Circumstances will come my way that are out of my control. I will have to crying boys both needing my attention when all I want to do myself is cry. But I have a Shepherd who knows my needs and will supply!
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusts in Thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. Isaiah 26:3-4