Have you ever been on vacation or visiting family and have come to the point where you just want to go home? Even though what you're doing may be fun, you just want to get back to your own bed and your own schedule. Well, after being away from home and living out of suitcases, and moving from house to house every week for 2 months, I came to a breaking point. I felt like I had enough and just wanted to go home! I questioned what God was doing in calling our family to travel across the country. I questioned how it could possibly be good for my little toddler to go to bed late and get up early (he doesn't know what sleeping in means yet). I just wanted my own house that I could clean, meals that I could plan and prepare for my family, a garden I could plant and my own house that I could make a home out of. As I was pouring my complaints out to the Lord (all of which I felt were justifiable), He began speaking to me about full surrender. Surrender? Haven't I already surrendered enough? I mean, most people don't just leave their job, home, family & friends to travel and tell others about Christ. (what proud thoughts!) I was wondering what else I needed to surrender. . . It was the small things. Those small desires I had to take care of my family it the way that best suited me. Simple desires to have my day run according to my schedule. My ideals on how to raise our little boy . . . With these small things in my life, I couldn't obey Christ's command to "Seek FIRST the kingdom of God." What was I seeking after? My own desires. Were my desires wrong? Not all of them. God has given me the task of taking care of my family. But I wanted to take care of my family in the environment that suited me most. It is important to set a schedule. But I was so frustrated and upset when my schedule was changed. So how do I seek first the kingdom of God? By holding nothing back. Even "small things." Giving those small desires, plans and ideals to God everyday, all day. But that's not all. He promises that all these "small things," the details that have been occupying my mind, will be taken care of by the Creator of the universe. What peace this brings!! And you know, I have realized that no matter where we are staying each week, and even when our drawers have turned into suitcases, I can still make our "house" a home.
So, what are you holding back?
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